“It started with a rattling door, the colloquial bump in the night, a burn, an unexplained bruise, a shadow lingering in the corner of my vision that never passed directly into my line of sight.” -Yours Truly

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“…It was something insidious, and there were signs that it was there all along, but because it started so slowly, it went largely unnoticed until I was deeply ensnared and enchanted with the evil that had crept into my life. Until I was forced to confront it.

As these things sometimes do, it all started with the move. I will always remember pulling into the crushed stone driveway that first day, hearing the crunch of the gravel under the weight of my tires and very little else. Even as I stepped out of the car, I heard no songbirds tweeting in exaltation of the new morning’s sun, no leaves rustling in the crisp fall breeze, nothing but my heart beating rapidly in my chest. At the time, I didn’t take the silence as strange or foreboding, and mistook my intuitive anxiety as excitement.            

No, it wasn’t the silence that struck me first, but the absence. His truck wasn’t in the driveway. We had just closed on the house yesterday and had spent our last night together in the small studio apartment we shared making love and then arguing and then retreating in deafening silence to our respective sides of the bed. When I had woken up to nothing but wrinkled sheets on his side of the bed, I had assumed that he had set out early to our new home to start on the extensive project that we had so eagerly gone into thirty plus years of debt for.”

There you have it, ladies and gents! The first quote and excerpt from my upcoming novel. Please, please feel free to give feedback! I know it’s not much, but that’s intentional. I want to see if it’s enough to get you hooked. I usually know if I want to keep reading something by the end of the first page or so.

I realize that this may have that ready-made horror plot feel to it, starting with the move to the fixer-upper. Copy and paste. I promise you, there’s a lot more to it than first appears… I’m looking mainly for feedback on the prose itself. I think I may need to do a little more tweaking; to me, the words don’t flow quite as I wish they would. What do you think?

As always, thank you for reading and taking the time to share your opinion. My next post is going to center on someone I know personally, someone much cuter and probably already smarter than I am. Who could it be? What is it going to be about? Come back soon for more!

5 thoughts on ““It started with a rattling door, the colloquial bump in the night, a burn, an unexplained bruise, a shadow lingering in the corner of my vision that never passed directly into my line of sight.” -Yours Truly

  1. I love suspense novels, those that keep me flipping pages into the wee hours of the morning. This excerpt leads me to believe that I’d stay up too late reading.

    Liked by 1 person

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